Two Long Island teenagers who have tragically lost loved ones to car accidents within the past year have banded together to turn their shared grief into hope by creating something positive- the HERO Project, a support group “by teens, for teens” founded to help their peers deal with anguish stemming from the death of a close friend or family member.
Charlie Dubofsky, a 16-year-old Jericho High School student, lost her father Ned in a heartbreaking February 2023 car crash. Sydney Hassenbein, also 16 and a student at Roslyn High School, soon felt the harsh sting of loss as well when her brother Drew and his friend Ethan Falkowitz, both 14, were traveling in Jericho in May 2023 when the car they were in was struck by wrong-way drunk driver. Both boys lost their lives in the crash, and the driver of the other vehicle has been charged with multiple crimes in connection with their deaths.
Drew, an eighth grader at Roslyn High School at the time, was widely considered a tennis prodigy and had planned to continue to pursue his passion for the game in a future that was all too cruelly torn away from him.
Upon hearing of Drew’s passing and knowing what she was going through, Charlie contacted Sydney in a show of support and the two subsequently formed a powerful bond over their mutual losses.
“It’s nice to talk to a teenager, and when I reached out to Sydney, I understood exactly how she felt because it’s very comforting to talk to someone my age after going through something this devastating and tragic,” Charlie said.
Determined to somehow achieve a catharsis from their pain, the new friends founded the HERO Project – an acronym that stands for Honor their heroes, Empathize with others, Remember special times shared and live Onward for their heroes – earlier this year to help the many young people their age who may not have support systems in place to deal with the harrowing experience of losing someone close to them.
“We realized there were not that many teen bereavement groups,” Charlie said. “After a couple of months, I proposed the idea of creating something to help people.”
Charlie and Sydney Hold meetings of the HERO Project once a month at the Sid Jacobson Jewish Community Center in East Hills, allowing grieving youth their age a place to express their feelings and find solace with those who know all too well where they are coming from.
“We wanted something local for people to come to,” Sidney said. “We also don’t want it to feel like your typical support group. We wanted it to feel more like a safe and open space where you could talk.”
Charlie and Sydney regularly meet with Amanda Foglietta, licensed clinical social worker and director of the Sid Jacobson JCC’s Sandler Family Kehilla Center, who reviews their materials before each meeting and offers guidance.
However, the two teens otherwise independently run the monthly HERO Project meetings on their own, which consist of discussions, PowerPoint presentations, group exercises, snacks and music; news about the group is put out via word-of-mouth, networking, and social media outreach.
Sydney noted that while she still acutely feels the loss of Drew each and every day, the HERO Project – which has met three times to date, and whose membership is growing steadily – has enabled her to have an outlet for her grief while doing good for her fellow teens in her brother’s precious memory.
“When you lose someone, you don’t want to move on from that because you want to remember the good times. Moving on almost sounds negative; the goal is to ‘move forward’ while holding on to those memories,” she said. “Our goal is to grieve and grow together as a group; that’s what we came here to do.
The HERO Project will soon be starting their official Instagram page, which will have updates when the group is having meetings; any teen is welcome to join.
The HERO Project has an official Instagram page (https://www.instagram.com/the.h.e.r.o.project), which has updates as to when the group is having meetings; any teen is welcome to join.
For more information, please call 516-484-1545 or visit https://linktr.ee/theheroproject to sign up.
